Anybody ever read Christine by Stephen King? It’s about a car that likes to kill people. I’ve decided that my car is similar, though a little more subtle.

When I got in it tonight, I looked down and saw that the digital odometer was proclaiming “LBuono.” I don’t know what that means, but I’m sure it’s some kind of message. It may not sound as threatening as the antics Christine put people through, but I just drive a 1999 Chevy Cavalier. It’s just not that ferocious.

It often delivers messages via the digital odometer, but they never make any sense. Often, they look like they’re in Russian, or maybe Klingon. Once it thinks I’ve gotten the message, my actual mileage pops back up. This is a good thing, since it’s the only way I can tell if my car has enough gas in it or not. See, the gas guage no longer works. It has apparently released itself of work by its own recognizance. It now lives a carefree life where it will proudly announce the tank is full one moment, then show it at a quarter the next.

I’m thinking my powers in the lazy side may have rubbed off on it.

Action matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my action, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And where you should not. For my ally is the lazy side, and a powerful ally it is. Inaction creates it, makes it grow. Its energy (or lack thereof) surrounds us and binds us. Lazy beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the laziness around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the sloth and the snail.

Ponder this over some snacks in a comfortable chair…


3 thoughts on “Christine

  1. While you may ridicule the age and breakdowns your car has had recently, ask yourself how much you’ve put into your car…moneywise. Then compare that to a $30K (or more) vehicle (plus interest + plus monthly payment hassles + maintenance fees for inspections and such to keep your warranty from voiding).

    Now, tell me which you’d rather have. Your money and sanity, or a new car? Feel the power of the lazy side? No? Good, you shouldn’t…it’s power lies in its simplicity. While it’s not helping your car, it’s also not hurting your bank account.

    Ponder this while reading the mechanic’s book you should pick up at a local auto parts store.

  2. You know what’s more depressing than having a crappy old car? Buying a new one and watching it slowly decay into a crappy old car. Don’t get me wrong: I still love my little raindrop and wouldn’t go back to the Grand Am (now THAT car was possessed…) for anything. But when I think about the fact that I’m $9000 in debt for a car that had less than 4000 miles on it last September and now has over 17,000, my eyes begin to water a bit.

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