Election 2008 – Who You Pulling For?

Has anybody been keeping up with the candidates so far? I’m pretty undecided at this point. I mean, I’m not the most politically savvy person out there (actually, I’m probably one of the least), but I’ve been trying to follow some of the coverage for the upcoming primaries, and I still can’t pick a favorite.

Ok, for the Republicans, Mike Huckabee has been my favorite. I like his core values; I like the fact that he’s not so staunchly “Republican” that he won’t work with others; and I’ve really liked a lot of his answers in the debates. I think he makes a lot of sense, and everytime I’ve seen him, he’s stayed calm and cool. I like those things.

But I do have a strike against him: as I’ve learned more about his tax position (and you can read more about it here), I’ve become more leary. He’s a big supporter of the “fair tax.” Sounds great with a name like that, doesn’t it? The fair tax works like this: instead of taxing people on their income — that’s right, no income tax! — you simply charge a higher sales tax. That way, people are only paying tax for the things they buy. If they don’t buy much, their taxes drop substantially.

Now on the surface, that sounds really good. But here’s the problem: lower and middle income people spend almost 100% of what they make, while upper income people spend a lower percentage of their income. Therefore, the gap between rich and poor becomes much wider, and people with lower incomes will carry a much bigger tax burden than those with more money.

Huckabee says this “fair tax” would be about 23%. Considering you might pay 8-10% already, that doesn’t necessarily sound outrageous. But remember, only 4% of that is federal. And that 4% would be replaced with 23%, which is substantial. And you should also know that 23% isn’t exactly accurate. It’s actually closer to 30%. Most people, when they talk about sales tax, talk about it as a separate thing from the cost of the item. In other words, if I buy something that costs $100, and it has a sales tax of 23%, I’d expect to pay $123. But Huckabee isn’t talking about tax in the same way. He’s talking about the tax as a percentage of the total price. In other words, that $100 item would actually sell for $130, because the $30 of tax only accounts for 23% of the total figure. Basically, we’d be looking at a national sales tax of 30% on everything we buy. Once you add back in your state and local sales taxes, you could easily be facing a sales tax of 34-36%, maybe higher.

To be honest, that scares me to death. When you contrast it with the current system where low and middle tax brackets are able to take advantage of many different deductions, the “fair tax” would take us in the opposite direction.

But to be fair, you have to remember that the future President can’t just do whatever he wants. Congress would still have to approve an idea like that, and I doubt it would fly. Aside from that issue, I do really like him. And if he’d change his stance on the tax issue, I would easily pull for him to get the Republican nomination.

Romney is a guy that I still need to do some research on. The fact that he’s Mormon doesn’t bother me, especially after the speech he gave. But in the debates, he sometimes seems to have trouble deciding how he wants to answer questions. That could be for many different reasons, but it still makes me feel a little less certain of him. Is he just unsure of how he wants to answer, or is he just trying to tell people what they want to hear?

Ron Paul is the other Republican candidate that I’m really interested in. Personally, I completely buy in to his ideas on foreign policy. I think many of our problems stem from us rubbing our nose in everyone else’s business for so many years, and I highly favor less military action and more diplomacy. We’ve got enough issues in our own country that should be dealt with. I’d prefer we leave everyone else alone. I’m not as familiar with his position on some other issues, and he’s another candidate that I’ll have to do more research on. The only thing that has concerned me a little with him is that he sometimes seems anxious in the debates. I want a President who can stay calm and rational, and I have less confidence with Ron Paul in that area than I do with Mike Huckabee. But at the least, I’m still intrigued by him, and very interested in what he has to say.

Honestly, the other Republican candidates don’t do a lot for me. Fred Thompson seems to almost be an extension of what we have right now, and I certainly don’t want that. I have a lot of respect for McCain, but I think his position on the situation in Iraq seems just a little too one-sided. I don’t pull for Giuliani because he doesn’t really mirror my own moral and social concerns, and those are the only real reasons I ever vote Republican. Honestly, if he wins the Republican nomination, I’ll definitely vote Democrat. I like him, but I wouldn’t vote for him. Now, I’ve liked some of what Tancredo has had to say, but I don’t think he really has a shot at it. And Hunter just makes me nervous. It seems like everything he says is for effect, and I just don’t want a car salesman in the White House. It looks like he’s trying to wink and grin everytime he says something.

I’m still researching the Democratic nominees right now. If I had to choose one out of the bunch it would probably be Joe Biden. I like the things I’ve heard from him on health care, Iraq, Iran, and education. I also like the fact that he’s been in Washington politics for a very long time. He seems consistent and seems to be the real deal. I’ve even heard that he takes public transportation to work every day. I think that’s impressive. I think it’s really unfortunate for him and the American people that he hasn’t had as much attention as the other guys.

I’m also interested in Barack Obama, but I’m woefully uninformed about him right now. And the same thing applies to most of the other candidates. I’ve listened to some debates, but that doesn’t always give you the deeper issues in a campaign. The only one I really don’t like right now is John Edwards. I’ve really gotten tired of hearing about his father’s factory, or whatever it is. Edwards seems to blame every problem America has on “BIG BUSINESS.” I’m not an economist. But I do know enough about economics to know that there are many factors that go into why jobs come and go. But it seems like he wants to blame everything on trade deals and Corporate America. Someone who continues to oversimplify a problem like that seems to have an agenda in my opinion, and for that reason he tends to scare me.

The Bottom Line
Anyway, I really wrote this stuff out just to get my thoughts on paper. But feel free to comment on it. Like I said, I’ve tried to stay informed and keep up with what’s going on, but there’s a lot of information I’m still not aware of at this point. So I’d love to hear some other ideas on the different candidates. Who do you like and why? If I’ve misunderstood something about any of these guys, let me know. The Alabama primaries aren’t until Feb 5, and I intend to do some hardcore research between now and then. I’d absolutely welcome direction from anyone.

Good luck to us all, and God bless America!


Chronicles of the Sears Warehouse Vol 1: Rise of the Pigeonslayer

The following story is based on actual events. The names of people and places have been left the same, mostly due to laziness. Some poetic license has been taken, but the overall gist remains true to life.

Come, sit down by the fire. Wrap yourself in its comfort and warmth. For I have a tale to share with you — a tale of blood and adventure, a tale of heroism and tyranny. It’s the tale of a man who was more than a man; indeed, he was a terrible being of light and fury, and his name was Clint.

As for myself, I was but a simple warehouse supervisor back in those days, young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. Though my hands remain relatively clean of the brutality that transpired, I must admit that it was I who set the events in motion. And as a horror-stricken bystander, I saw first-hand the things I am about to tell you. So come closer, my friend, enjoy the protection of the fire and lend your ear to my story. For you are about to learn of the Pigeonslayer.

As a young man of 20, I was given the task of running an off-site warehouse for the magnificent company Sears. Behold, you have probably seen its name in lights in many cities across the world. Truly, it is a great empire of capitalism, though its splendor seems somewhat diminished in this current age. But at that time, its power was unrivaled, and I was but one of many who sought gainful employment with such an icon of supremacy.

In my new profession, I had three charges under my care: the stoic Jeff, the noble Donnie, and the quick-witted Clint. Lo, they were worthy men who handled forklifts and handtrucks with an awesome dexterity. Their comely behavior toward our customers was quite admirable, and our modest little warehouse was soon known far and wide as a fair and productive establishment.

But one of our number harbored a dark secret. Indeed, beneath his smiling facade there resided a far more brutal and sinister nature.

Clint was one of my closest companions, and had been since our school days. One of my first actions in my new post at the warehouse had been to hire him.  And if I had known of the horrible things that were to transpire, perhaps I never would have brought him into the employ of our magnificent warehouse.  But how could I have known?  Indeed, things began wonderfully! Oh, they were joyous days filled with jovial frivolity!  When we weren’t encumbered by our normal responsibilities, we would often find time to converse about important matters such as Final Fantasy VIII and the young maidens we were each enamored with. But a shadow began to loom over these happy days. A winged shadow that struck terror into the hearts of lesser men. Woe unto us, our beloved warehouse had been infested with pigeons!

For a time, we strove to ignore our unwelcome guests, though they abused us with their insolent coos and littered us with their obtrusive poop. But their rebellious attitude was soon more than we could bear, and we began plotting some way to be rid of them. Jeff, Donnie, and myself often wondered aloud if nothing could be done to block their entry into our dear sanctuary. But Clint thought on a more primitive scale.

One ill-fated morning, as Clint strode toward the lavoratory, he happened upon a pair of especially seditious pigeons who refused to yield to him. They simply strutted back and forth, casting him sidelong glances, and insulting his manhood with their brazen diatribes. It was to be a disastrous miscalculation on their part.

Behold, in Clint’s hand was a roll of packing tape. And upon the provocation issued by the pigeons, he launched forth his sticky missile with an amazing velocity and deadly accuracy. The first pigeon exploded into a cloud of feathers, and his companion immediately took flight, screeching its curses and fixing Clint with an evil eye.

Donnie was kind enough to clean up the mess and give our fallen enemy a soldier’s burial in our trash compactor. And though I hoped the incident would pass peacefully, I somehow knew that we hand’t seen the last of our foe.

The next morning dawned bright and cold. Upon arriving at the warehouse, we were met with a dark, ominous mass of feathered warriors, perched upon the roof of our beloved building. At their head was the savage pigeon that had fled Clint’s wrath on the previous day. Never have I seen a fowl offer so foul a scowl.

But Clint was undeterred.

Verily, he had prepared in earnest for this battle, as though his life depended upon it. And in truth, it did. He alone understood the savage cruely of pigeons and the depths to which they would sink in their avaricious quest to annoy mankind. You see, though none of us knew it, they were his sworn enemy. Pigeons had murdered his parents.

Clint strode up to the throng with a baseball bat slung across his back, and 6 tubes of tennis balls attached to his belt. With a loud, ringing voice, he addressed his foes: “Hark, ye rebels! Forsooth, I have sworn to strike ye down with great fury, should ye encroach further into the sanctity of our establishment. Ye abhorrent pigeons have dealt me more woe than any man should bear, yet I have borne it with great integrity to this point. But mark my words, if I see one false motion of a wing, I shall see you stuffed and mounted on this building for all eternity!”

As one, the pigeons sounded forth a great tumult, and though I do not speak Pigeon, I am inclined to believe they said something like, “ARRRRR!!!” For no sooner had he stopped speaking than they arose with one accord and bore down on us like ravenous hawks.

Clint launched forth a dozen tennis balls in but a moment, which somehow managed to fell 41 pigeons. Donnie, Jeff, and I ran in abject terror while feathers and tennis balls whirled around us. At one point in the battle, as I lay huddled under a nearby car, I glimpsed Clint wielding his baseball bat with wreckless abandon. Like a whirlwind, he moved with a speed I could not follow, and not a single pigeon was able to penetrate the destruction wrought by his flailing arms.

Finally, as the dust and feathers cleared, I saw Clint locked in a life-or-death struggle with the commanding pigeon. They rolled upon the ground slashing and gouging at one another in frantic combat. Clint tried a move he had once seen a famous pugilist use and tried to bite off the pigeon’s ear. But his attack was thwarted when he realized pigeons had no ears.

Nonetheless, the fight was soon over, and Clint stood above his vanquished enemy in triumph. The pigeon offered a few whispered coos as its final words, but none of us had any inkling as to what they meant. And since customers had long since been lining up outside our establishment, we all decided to get back to work.

But never again did we face trouble from pigeons. Faithful Clint kept his promise and stuffed many of the pigeons that fell there that day. Even now, they remain perched atop the Sears warehouse as a warning to any belligerent pigeons who might choose to roost there, even though all of us have moved on from the magnificent service of Sears. Clint was awarded a Sears Medal of Valor and a 15%-off coupon good on any purchase (except cosmetics and fragrances).

Never again has he been forced to raise a tennis ball in anger.

Howdy, Stranger…

Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted.  I’ve had a severe case of “blogger’s block” lately, and I still haven’t kicked it. I’ve been wanting to post some killer stuff, but have no idea what to write about. I mean, my life has been pretty normal lately (which makes it abnormal for me), and thus, relatively uninteresting. I’ve gone to work, gone to school, gone home to the wife and kids, played video games, read comics, and slept. That’s about it.

But I hope to make some other posts very soon. Maybe I’ll get some massive dose of inspiration and compose some heartfelt diatribe on some drastically important topic. Of course, that would require learning about something drastically important. And let’s face it, it’s doubtful I’ll put that much effort into anything.

Oh, I do have some really good news though…

I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico. No, really… I’m serious. You should check them out.

Striking Out

Ok, how many times have you read about somebody striking a match on their thumbnail?  Or maybe their teeth, or pavement, etc?  Have you ever seen anybody actually do it?  I’ve tried it before, on my thumbnail and on my teeth.  I get nothing.

If you’ve ever had luck with this, let me know.  Because right now, my faith in westerns and hard-boiled detective novels is starting fail me.  I mean, if this isn’t true, who knows what else might be exaggerated too?!

Sci-Fi Caskets?

ShowMeSciFi has posted an article about Star Trek caskets. That’s right, just like the one Spock got launched into space with in Star Trek II.

But the funny thing is that this reminds me of a conversation I had with my brother, Josh, last week. We were talking about different kinds of coffins, and he said he had thought about a Star Wars coffin, specifically, one that would have him frozen in carbonite, like Han Solo.

I mean, if that’s not dignified, what is?

A Full Moon in the Middle of the Day

About a week ago, I was running a route along I-20, east of Birmingham, and I happened upon a State Trooper parked behind a bluish-silver Crown Vic. I was cruising somewhere between 60 and 70 miles an hour, so I didn’t see enough to figure out exactly what was going on, but I still managed to see much more than I wanted.

The trooper was standing on the passenger side of the Crown Vic — I don’t know if anyone else was in the car or not. But standing beside the driver’s side of the car was a middle aged guy wearing nothing but a T-shirt.  Yeah, you read that right. He might have had on a ball cap too; in fact, I prefer to visualize it that way. Seems funnier, somehow.

I had driven by before I truly realized what I had seen, and then I immediately called Lauren, because this news just had to be shared with someone. I can’t even begin to speculate what might have brought about that turn of events. I don’t know if the cop actually had to pull this guy over, or if he had just been sitting on the side of the road. All I know is that he was standing on the shoulder of a 3-lane interstate with his large rear end facing traffic.

How do you handle that as a cop?  If you cuff him, do you opt to let him leave his hands in front?  I’m sure that telling the guy to “spread ’em” would be awfully low on the list of things to do.  I imagine it’s cases like this that get left out of the State Trooper recruitment videos.

I doubt this was what they had in mind when they rolled out “Take Back Our Highways.”